never thought of it but it happened… March 21, 2007

When i decided to go for an AIESEC internship i didnt care about the country in which i will go.

I wanted it to be in Europe, to be closer from the ones i love, but otherwise it could have been wherever…

Then when i had to choose before Frankfurt and Rotterdam, and i chose Frankfurt because it has an airport…which meant that is easy to travel to the loved ones…

so i was always raporting things to this: “be close to the loved ones” – which for me is a fact, a promise, a wish…

but after almost 4 months of living in Germany, even though i never thought it would happen, i fell in love with this city, with this country, with its people…

to decide if i like Poland or not, it took me a few days. to decide if i like Hungary or not, it took me less then 2 hours. to decide if i like Italy or not, it took me even less. but for Germanyit took me almost 4 months…here everything that has to do with feelings happen much slower (i guess) and maybe, who knows, the apartenence feelings might be stronger.

there are stupid people and smart people, like everywhere. there is good weather and bad weather, like everywhere…and so on…

i knew i like the German culture before arriving here. i knew i liked the German language many years ago:)…but i never knew that i might feel so comfortable at a certain moment, that i would think about “how would it be like…if i would stay longer”…

I had the same thoughts about Poland many years ago (now i dont feel like that anymore). i never thought like this about Italy, even though i like it alot…I always felt like this about Romania (but i dont know if i feel it anymore…)

according to my plans, i will not stay longer in Germany. But it is interesting how i feel…i think is because i feel like this because i am very comfortable with everything. i didnt lose my identity, and i still dont agree with some things that are part of the German culture, i still dont like the shitty weather Frankfurt has, and the S-bahn that is regularly late…but i like it here:)

so according to my plans i will not stay longer…this is what i said also about Italy an year ago, and i did leave, and i left a small peace of me there…so whenever i go back to Italy, starting from the airport, i love hearing them speaking Italian, and i already imagine the beautiful places that i am going to see, even their sweeeet carots (the sweetest that i have ever tried)…the main thing is that i regain that small peace of me that is there, each time i see that country again. And then when i come back to Germany, is the same thing here…i also left a small peace of me in Poland…and i am thinking to go in another internship and see one more country, before going back to Romania, for good. At least this is how i think now, so dont jump into conclusions…but also in that country i will leave a piece of me, and there is also another bigger piece in Romania…so…will i ever get myself back to me?

i want myself back to be given…or how Eminescu was saying…pe mine mie reda-ma!…but i guess this will happen once, when the time will come, and i will feel it…i will feel that yes, here i feel perfeclty ok, and i regained all the pieces that i left in each and every country and my heart doesnt ache for any other place…i hope this will happen in the next 5 years…i hope i will find that place…